What to say?
… Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
Colossians 2:2-3 (NIV)
Isn’t it hard sometimes to know what to say to someone who maybe has been bereaved, or is sharing a personal problem, or is just upset by something or somebody? How do we respond? Do we simply listen with empathy, or do we talk and share some of our own experiences?
Of course, Jesus knew what was right. See how he deals with the two sisters, Martha and Mary. Luke tells us that Martha welcomed Jesus and the disciples into her home as they made their way through her village. As we know, she got in a tizz trying to get a meal ready for them all and was cross with her sister who was just sitting, listening to Jesus, leaving her to shoulder the burden of food preparation on her own. But when she complains to Jesus, he is rather straight with her. You’re anxious and overwrought and your sister has made a better choice, he tells her (Luke 10:38-42).
Now John takes over the story of the sisters, (John 11:1-44), and writes that sometime later their brother becomes seriously sick and the sisters send for Jesus to help. Their brother dies before he arrives.
Martha, ever the one to act, goes out to meet Jesus before he even gets into their village. Mary stays put.
Jesus has turned up too late to heal their brother, as far as she is concerned. But Jesus tells this grieving sister, the one who didn’t get her way with Jesus and who he had reprimanded previously, that he, Jesus, is the resurrection and the life. Death is powerless over life for the one who believes in him. “Do you believe this?” he asks. “Yes, Lord” replies Martha, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” (John 11:26-27 ESV). This conversation has brought forth an astonishing proclamation of understanding and faith from Martha, similar to Peter’s response to Jesus’ question in Matthew 16:13-16.
Now Martha returns and secretly tells her sister that Jesus has asked for her. When she reaches him, she falls at his feet and repeats what Martha had said to Jesus – “… if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (John 11:32). And Jesus, seeing her weeping, and the crowd that followed her also weeping, says nothing at all to Mary. He just weeps.
These two sisters, who were the same family but so different, needed different responses to their grief and loss. And Jesus treated them differently, knowing exactly what each sister needed. Then they both shared together the miracle of seeing their brother raised from the dead, and walking out of his tomb to be reconciled with his family.
We may not get it right and we are not going to get it right each time. But we can ask for guidance. Thankfully Jesus does know how to get it right every time, with each of us.
Prayer
And so we come to you, our Saviour, who showed us all divine wisdom in action in your dealings with us, and ask that we may be guided by the Spirit to know how to respond to all who are in pain or distress, with responses that uphold and help. Amen.
Study by Hilary Buck
About the writer:
Hilary Buck is a Minister and pastors the Lewes congregation of Grace Communion International.
Local congregation:
Grace Communion in Lewes
The House of Friendship
208 High Street
Lewes
BN7 2NS
Meeting time:
Sunday 11:00am
Local congregational contact:
Hilary Buck
Email: lewes@gracecom.church
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Word of Life contact:
wordoflife@gracecom.church